2019 was ALOT, and not in a good way. Well, actually, let me not drown your reading time with complaints. The challenging times s t r e c h e d me in ways I didn’t think were possible, and through all the kicking and screaming, I made it out stronger than ever. Okay…I guess 2019 wasn’t that bad, but I can say that I am happy to turn the page and head full speed ahead into 2020. I wanted to take this blog to reflect on 2019, that includes the good, bad, a most definitely ugly. I hope as you read, you can relate, and I hope your 2020 is as bright as I am claiming mine will be. 🙂
- Weight Loss Is Hard
Child, why didn’t the Lord make being naturally skinny my cross to bear in life?! Like Lord, you made me a foodie for goodness sakes… Why, oh why can’t I just enjoy my food without having to look at that cursed scale?!
I can’t even begin to name the number of times I have started AND stopped…and started and stopped…and sta.. I think you get the point. from working out consistently, to not so much, or this diet restriction or another, I have failed over and over again the more I tried. I even got to the point of just accepting my size so that I could just be happy eating and drinking in peace. I am #overit, and ready to finally buckle down and get serious. No more diet fads, no more neglecting the gym…like India, get your sh*t together and JUST FREAKING DO IT! My first reflection has resulted in my first resolution, not weight loss first, but better health.
2. Love Is Beautiful
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.” – 1 Corinthians 13:4-5
God, this verse can really have you doing a serious heart check when you really let the words seep into your soul. Three-plus years into my relationship, I have had to revisit this meaning of love according to Christ. Contrary to popular belief, love is not matching outfits on the gram, or gum drops and rainbows, love is dying to yourself, love is compromising, love is respect for your partner, love is driving from Fort Worth to McKinney just to bring your gf her favorite bbq just because, (thanks bae. lol). Love just is. For 2020, I vow to show my love in more ways to those around me. I am also plan to love myself more, and never settle.
3. Friends Come and Go
Now this may be a hard pill to swallow, but not all friends last forever. In 2019, I had to deal with losing a close friend I had for yeeeears. Toxicity is real, and you gotta let that go sus. I learned quickly that it is okay to love someone from afar.
With this friendship, it was draining me physically, emotionally and spiritually, and a stab to the back was the ultimate nail in the coffin for me. Maybe in another life we will meet again, but for now, I am okay with where we stand, and I wish them nothing but the best. I am thankful for my day one’s and my new girls as well! I love y’all forreal, forreal.
“I don’t know what I would do without all of my crew, yeah
I ain’t makin’ no room, yeah, I ain’t makin’ no new friends
I don’t make no moves, yeah, without tellin’ my crew, yeah
That’s just how we do, yeah, that’s just how we do, oh
Goddamn it, I love my life, Styrofoam cups, no ice
Party ‘fore we go inside
Never let ’em out my sight, they’re right by my side
Them my ride-or-dies, them my ride-or-dies
My friends are goals, your friends are foes
We fly, why cry, our souls exposed, yeah
We smoke, we laugh, your stress, my stress
Closer than kin, I’m blessed, you blessed”
4. Don’t Lose Your Creative Spark
This one is hella important. As a youth, I feel like I had all the time in the world to let my creative freak flag fly wild. This past year, I was beginning to feel stifled, especially with the increase of “bloggers” and “influencers” all around me. The things that once excited me about this life were starting to feel like daunting when I had to sit down to actually do them. I had to realize that most of the followers and engagement was #fake, and I can’t let that deter me from putting out my story.
Don’t let life dull your creative spark.
I had to figure out what really gets my creative writing juices going, and for me, that is reading! For 2020, I have committed to reading at least one book each month. I figured if I could mare every episode of the Real Housewives of something or another, I could take some quiet time out to curl up with a good book and feed my mind and soul.
I want to get back to my roots, which is storytelling, so stepping into someone’s else creative world when I crack open a book is just the medicine I need to help me grow and nurture my skills. Find your thing and pour into it.
Be authentic, be you, tell your story the way you want to.
5. Kick Ass in 2020!
2020 is going to be a phenomenal year. I truly feel this in the deepest, darkest depths of my soul. This year, I am going to pour into myself daily and really turn my dreams into a reality. This blog post was so therapeutic, and just what I needed to get me revved up and going. Never give up India, and keep striving to do better.
2020, I am coming for you with a full beat on and all I’ve got!